Is There Anyone There..?

What is wrong with me?
Seriously..?
Is there a reason people don't talk to me anymore?
Or do they just think it fun, it's just something to do,
ignore raah...
Sometime I like to think I have friends, that my boyfriend loves me as much as I love him...
But in reality, we all have no one and nothing to keep us going.
If you really get deep down into what keeps some people going, it's all just selfishness.
Ugly selfishness run by consumerism and greed.
I have no money or gifts or know any kind of services to offer anyone in return to create my own world of greed or consumerism, maybe thats why I'm so fucked up..
Because my life is not run by greed, it's run by people who I assumed wanted to be in my life, but now I know different.
I wish that I could change, I wish I could act selfish and not care about other peoples feelings, but I'm not like that, I care about the people I love, I care about my friends, I care about my boyfriend.
I wish I could stop caring!
Then maybe people would want to try be my friend, they'd be fight over who gets to be my friend or not...
But, it just doesn't work like that...